Just like we did with our previous one paragraph short story series, I wanted to get all of the entries in our latest one paragraph short story contest in one posting, this one. If you recall, the theme was fanciful videogame back stories and one lucky participant was eligible for a prize. While some of the Armchair Arcade staff participated, we were naturally not eligible for the contest. After the votes were counted, Craig A. Meyer's Donkey Kong took the prize and his story was featured in Episode 4 of our Armchair Arcade Radio podcast. Now here for your convenient reading pleasure are all eight entries in the reverse order they were submitted:
The 100 World Story: The Tales on a Watery Wilderness by Keith Burgun
The gloglord called his guard into his throne room one day and said "hey guard" and the guard said "hey king, what's happenin?" the king replied I have ice powers and also let's get some dr. pepper but they ran out of dr pepper but at the end of the story they get some more so it's ok, but anyway for now it was time to make me some SNOWMEN and throw snowballs and gloglord got hit on the chin with a powerful snowball and his crown flew in the air and his crown landed on the guard and now the guard was the new pharoah.
K.C. Munchkin! by Mark Vergeer
KC - as friends called him - just wasn't the same after his cousin (Pac-Man) started to act like he never even existed. Since then KC had become withdrawn and contemplative. Pac-Man had suddenly acted like he was all that and even thought he was above the law. Pac-Man started dealing drugs and got arrested thrice for shoving power pills to minors and he repeatedly got away with it only paying minor fines. Within weeks life had become very boring and uneventful. Gone were the days of running around the mazes together playing tag with the ghosts and Munchers. KC tried several times if his old pal would come out and play in the mazes but he was ignored. KC was sad, he'd lost a good friend. KC suspected his big and very competitive uncle - Atari - had put Pac-Man up to it but he couldn't prove it. Finally on a sunny afternoon KC gathered all his courage to confront his uncle and took some freshly made White and MultiColoured Munchies - baked by his mother Mrs Magna Vox - as a peace offering. But it all went sour as his uncle had KC arrested for trespassing. KC didn't get a fair trial and now spends his days officially shelved while his cousin is still parading up and down his maze...
Bump 'n' Jump by Rich Knight
Billy Bygone just wanted some hydraulics for his car. Something that would make his car bounce up and down like Snoop's in those old Dr. Dre videos. But what he got, due to tampering from a secret government spy with a hidden agenda, was the new B714 (Codename: Leapfrog) installed in his car, which, at the press of a button, would send him hurdling into the sky. Of course, the government can't allow something of this magnitude to be revealed to the public. Just think of all the people trying to escape traffic with this device if it was known. Just think of all the havoc it would cause to the insurance companies when all these flying cars come landing down on unsuspecting drivers. Just think of the children! So agents have been sent out to KILL Billy Bygone to keep the secret from being known. But Billy won't give up without a fight. Oh, no. Billy Bygone is going to bump and jump his way to survival, picking up strangely placed oil cans (From a counterspy?!) on the road and driving his way to an answer. Will Billy Bygone be able to solve the mystery of who installed the B714 before he's roadkill? Find out in next week's exciting episode of Billy Bygone, Bump 'n' Jumper!
Pac-Man/Ms. Pac-Man by Christina T. Loguidice
On a planet called "Pac" in a galaxy far away, there lived a prosperous race of creatures called the "Pacs." Of course, as on any planet with many creatures and races, there was an underdog class of citizens. These were the Ghosts, and they had been oppressed for centuries, suffering quietly throughout the ages. But as the years went on, a new group emerged that questioned the Pac regime and vowed to regain what was rightfully theirs. This elite group consisted of four members: Blinky, who was adept at hunting down enemies; Pinky, a sweet transvestite who could anticipate her enemy's moves; Inky, a master at faking out enemies; and Clyde, who had been the leader of the pack until he suffered a tragic accident that affected his mobility and reasoning abilities. Blinky, Pinky, Inky, and Clyde had worked feverishly for many years to build intricate underground lairs, which would be used to store power pellets recovered from the Pacs. The group knew if they collected enough of these pellets, they could assemble them to create a super weapon that would turn the tide. The task had been arduous and fraught with many obstacles, including an unfortunate incident in 1980 where they had to take out a Pacman who had wandered upon one of their lairs while spelunking. But the light was almost at the end of that proverbial tunnel, and all that finally remained was for the weapon to be assembled. But just as they were about to hunker down to tackle the task, the wife of that Pacman appeared. She looked vulnerable with her pink bow and ruby red lips, but she was hungry for revenge.
Donkey Kong by Craig A. Meyer
As the United States and the world was recovering from WWII, a plan was hatched to launch Albert, a Rhesus monkey, into space—the first primate with the distinction. Albert’s V2 rocket launched without incident, but it was soon discovered he died of suffocation. Or so it was believed. But now, the true story has come out. Albert, while orbiting over thirty miles above the Earth’s surface, unexpectedly absorbed a radical amount of galactic cosmic rays that transformed him. When Albert returned to Earth, it was assumed he was dead, but he was actually in some strange stasis, as of yet, unexplained. The search party that found the V2 capsule preserved it but casually discarded Albert’s limp body in a ditch not knowing he was still alive. After several days of cooler summer air, the effects of the radiation aided Albert and he slowly recovered. As he nibbled various leaves and insects, Albert slowly realized what had happened and how his trainer, Mario, had sold him to NASA to be sent into space where he would certainly die. This new awareness became the driving force and he sought revenge on Mario and all other bipeds. Over time, he made his way to a shipping yard and began eating various types of food from wooden barrels. After nearly eating his weight each day for months and moving barrels weighing nearly a thousand pounds to reach new sources of food, he grew several feet in height and added countless inches of muscle mass. When the dock workers noticed strange noises and huge deposits of human-like excrement, they contacted a local primate expert for advice. The expert came to investigate, his name was Mario, and Albert remembered.
Tetris by Matt Barton
Joe Block was to garbage what Da Vinci was to art; a man of technical skill and unique vision. His presence at the landfill was worth 40,000 waste collectors--and that's what had made him the richest man on Earth. Who else but Block could cram so much junk into such small spaces, preserving the planet's last few garbage-free zones from instant destruction? Who among the elites, those fortunate few whose trash were collected and whose toilets still flushed--who among them did not invite Joe to all their parties, assuming this sanitation superstar had the time for any of them. For each minute of his day was worth more than lesser men earned in a year. Deep down--did Joe fear the end was coming? For so many years he had worked those cranes like a terrifying, tentacled beast, his brain whizzing with geometry and whirring with physics, his hands sweaty on the controls, his hardhat heavy on his head, the camera focused on his hard, unshaven face--a television station in Rhode Island broadcast nothing else but this. But the trash these days was coming faster than ever before, ever faster. The camera zoomed in on his eyes--what fury! And the moment the garbage rose to the lip of the landfill--disaster! At last it happens!--camera in even closer, the eyes narrowed, back away, the hands flicked fast--and crunch! Down went the line of junk, down, crunch, down, crunch. Back up to Block's face. A smile? Yes, Joe Block was grinning, that madman, that god of the garbagemen. Somewhere in Providence, a housewife fainted, a half-empty martini in pieces on the floor.
Atari Adventure (game 3) by Steve Maibock
A golden square awoke in a golden bed, his head sweetly upon a golden pillow. His bedroom adorned with golden tapestry, which revealed a golden door. The golden door opened out into a golden hall, which is naturally located in a great golden castle. You may have heard wonderful stories of this golden square, but this tale, dear readers, is not about dragons, wicked bats, nor confusing mazes. No the tale we shall focus on, is how our golden friend loses his golden chalice, almost each and every day. You see, the golden square is not in love with a fair maiden locked up in a castle. Our amber gleaming box is not all that adventurous (despite the title of this fine game), nor does he rightly fancy slaying massive dragons. Quite simply, our fine fellow adores his golden ale. The golden ale, flows from a great golden vat, which sits high above his golden kitchen and flows freely, like a waterfall, down a brightly golden spout. And how shall our golden friend capture this delicious golden ale from a brightly golden spout? From a magical brightly colored golden chalice, of course! But this is where the crux of our fair friend’s problems resides. He drinks his golden ale, and then drinks some more. Perhaps he lifts a few more after that. He drinks all day to his merry heart’s content until he begins to wander the fair (but harsh) kingdom and loses track of his senses. Inevitably our golden hero awakes in his golden bed only to find that he has left the brightly colored chalice somewhere, anywhere, in this kingdom that he lives - and off again he goes to find his golden drinking cup!
Pooyan by Bill Loguidice
Grandma Pig had often told Mama Pig the story of the Big Bad Wolf. She said he huffed and he puffed and he blew all her sons' houses down. All of their houses that is except for Mama Pig's father's, whose brick house had been the Big Bad Wolf's undoing. Now with piglets of her own, Mama Pig knew that the Big Bad Wolf’s return was imminent. As the army of ravenous wolves approached, Mama Pig pulled out a brick house of her own. She oinked, exhaled softly, then drew back mightily on the well worn bow.
I think that guy Keith's story won, right?